Wednesday, February 17, 2010
My Word is My Bond
Over the last couple of years I have watched this metamorphosize into "My word is a general agreement that such and such might be a good idea." or "My word is my bond unless, pain, illness, depression, fatigue, the health of my child or husband or needs of others or, something gets in the way." I've had to reschedule get-togethers, pass up on the blessing of serving others, skip ward and Relief Society functions, and even put off "laundry day" for one reason or another. I'm always feeling guilty for putting off and/or rescheduling things.
Does anybody else have problems with this? I guess I could go back to my old way. However that would mean that I will show up at your party even if I'm carrying germs from my baby who just threw up on me. It would mean that I will be at the funeral but I might faint from my illness and will spend the rest of my conscious time worrying about my husband with the migraine who is taking care of the sleep deprived 10 month old. It would mean that I will show up for the movie premier toting my coughing baby who won't stop crying.
I can see how this is ridiculous. I know I need to find the balance. I need to learn how to regretfully bow out and move one. I continue to feel guilty for things that I didn't do or show up to for months. I usually simmer in that guilt until I find a way to "repay" my Karma.
Does this sound familiar to anyone? How do you get over it?