Wednesday, February 17, 2010

My Word is My Bond

I've spent my life telling people that if I say it, it will happen.  If I say I'm going to an activity I will be there.  If I say that I will bring food.  Food will be brought.  If I say that I'm coming to visit on a date, I will be there on that date.  If I promise to take you to the preview of that cool new movie.  You can bet I will be there.  My word is my bond.  You could get my promises notarized.

Over the last couple of years I have watched this metamorphosize into "My word is a general agreement that such and such might be a good idea."  or "My word is my bond unless, pain, illness, depression, fatigue, the health of my child or husband or needs of others or, something gets in the way."  I've had to reschedule get-togethers, pass up on the blessing of serving others, skip ward and Relief Society functions, and even put off "laundry day" for one reason or another.  I'm always feeling guilty for putting off and/or rescheduling things.

Does anybody else have problems with this?  I guess I could go back to my old way.  However that would mean that I will show up at your party even if I'm carrying germs from my baby who just threw up on me.  It would mean that I will be at the funeral but I might faint from my illness and will spend the rest of my conscious time worrying about my husband with the migraine who is taking care of the sleep deprived 10 month old.  It would mean that I will show up for the movie premier toting my coughing baby who won't stop crying.

I can see how this is ridiculous.  I know I need to find the balance.  I need to learn how to regretfully bow out and move one.  I continue to feel guilty for things that I didn't do or show up to for months.  I usually simmer in that guilt until I find a way to "repay" my Karma.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?  How do you get over it?


  1. Yes, this sounds SO familiar. I love the book, "A Hat For Ivan" by Max Lucado. I can interpret it so many ways. It's all about how we try to wear everyone else's "hat" just to make them happy, but really we just need our one hat which is the perfect fit. In this instance it can mean that we don't have to say "yes" to everything and therefore shouldn't feel guilty, but it's just not right for us right then. Yes, we would love to go to every function and help everyone, but we can't. And when we actually do say "no" we shouldn't be judged, because no one knows the validity behind the "no". This is a hard one for me- my life is based on "guilt" so NO I don't know how to handle this situation but I definitely need to work on achieving that balance as well.

  2. This happens to everyone. If only we lived the perfect life and we were always healthy (as well as our family) so we could do it all. I think this happens so Heavenly Father shows us He is the one in charge, not us. I think most people are pretty forgiving of each other because we all know what life brings.