Honest Scrap

I happily accept this Honest Scrap Award.

The game is that you have to list 10 honest things about yourself, and then award it to 4 other people. 

1.  I feel like an alien.  I've landed on planet homemaker with only planet single experience.  I look at you wonderful women out there and feel so intimidated.  I'm so behind.  I have no clue what I am doing.  I look at my friends and neighbors that are my chronological age, they have teenagers and seem to have this wife and mother thing down.  I am so completely out of my element.  I don't cook, much.  I don't craft, much.  I don't use coupons, much.  I abhor cleaning.  When I do clean I feel like I'm doing it wrong somehow.  I don't know what to do with a 2 or 4 year old for more than an hour.  I feel like I'm making everything up as I go along.

2.  In what seems like a completely different life, I was a confident, persuasive, well-dressed, hard hitting woman.  I have worked as a Human Resources Coordinator, professional meeting planner, PR director, and benefits specialist.  I served a 19-month mission for the LDS Church to Richmond, VA.  I've served in a myriad of leadership, teaching, music, activities, and support calling in the church.  I have a  BS in Social Psychology and a minor in Music from BYU.  

3.  I have an overactive sensor in my head.  I read, reread and edit everything I write.  I try to edit what I am saying while I am speaking which often causes me to stumble and stutter.  I overthink past conversations.  I worry that I will (or did) sound too whiny, too judgmental, too spineless, too boring, too ridiculous, too, too, too, too...  However, when I am completely at ease I will talk non stop and tell crazy stories.

4.  I've decided to give up scrapbooking, at least for now.  I am in love with the bound books you can order online.  I put together a wonderful 100 page coffee table book with the story of how Doug and I met and our wedding.  It cost me $60.  The hours and the money I would have spent would have been astronomical if I had scrapbooked it.  I can hardly wait to put together the book for Rachel's first year.  I plan on building a book with the story of Elizabeth as well.

5.  I love being a mom.  As a young girl I would sing, "When I grow up I want to be a mother and have a family.  One little, two little, three little babies of my own..."  I wanted to be married and having babies before the age of 20.  When I turned 30 I decided to stop counting on marriage and family and go back to school.  I was working on an MS in Health Promotion and Education and planned on a Ph.D. in psychology when I met Doug.  My heart is still broken over the loss of Elizabeth.  Rachel makes my world go round.  I marvel at her amazing, beautiful little body.  I am in awe watching her learn new things each day.  She has been with me for almost 10 months and yet it feels like barely a week.

6.  I lost my sense of style 2 babies and 40 pounds ago.  I have few clothes that fit and would rather spend the money on my house, my husband or my baby girl.  Rachel is always dressed better than I am.  Often she is clothed with her hair done when I am still in my pajamas and ponytail.  Doug actually took the baby and told me to go shopping the other day.  I know this would be a dream for many women.  For me, trying on clothes needs to come with an extra dose of anti-depressants and perhaps a chocolate cake.  I almost always come away feeling fat and ugly.

7.  I am addicted to carbs, fats and simple sugars.  I love any and all chocolate.  I love breads, cakes, cookies, pasta, potatos, rice, ice cream, butter, creamy alfredo sauce, pizza, pancakes, waffles, real maple syrup and cinnamon rolls.  I do like healthy foods, they are just harder to cook and eat on the go.  I like salads when I eat out or with a group but not by myself.

8.  I love adventure.  I like to go places without a plan and just see what happens.  As a single girl I would travel to different cities by myself or with a friend and see what came my way.  I've gone to more movies by myself than I can count.  I used to get dressed up and go to dinner by myself.  I would pretend I was a mysterious woman from a far away place.  I would try to imagine what others might guess about this mysterious woman.  It was empowering.  I've bungee jumped, took lessons on how to be a white water rafting guide, served as a "ma" on trek, and will ride amusement park rides until my head and stomach feel like they will explode.

9.  I enjoy hosting parties.  I have four caveats to this.  First, I want a maid to come clean my house beforehand.  Second, I would like a chef to do all of the cooking.  Third, I have a hard time choosing who to invite.  There are a ton of people I want to get to know.  But, there is only so much room in my house.  Plus, unlike in the singles ward there are children to consider.  Fourth, I don't want to leave anyone out.  I always feel left out when I hear someone else got together and had a party, went on an excursion, or did anything social to which I wasn't invited.  I have a hard time doing things and leaving others out.  When I was in singles wards I just invited everybody even those I didn't really want to come.  The more the merrier in my book.  I haven't figured out how to do this on planet family so I've let it paralyze me.

10.  I like to name everything.  My laptop is Maggie.  My desktop computer used to be Blinky until I traded Doug for Bart.  Our cameras are Sheldon, Leonard and Raj.  My phones used to be Guido and George.  We have a robot vacuum named Mo.  Rachel's dolls are Molly and Polly the dollies.  Our cars are Homer and Pedro.

So now I have to pass the award on to four people.  I want to pass it to everybody.  I hate only choosing four.  If you wanted this to be awarded to you consider yourself awarded.
1.  Sonia at La Dolce Vita.  It's fun to read about her life in Italy.
2.  Nova at Noble Moments.  Nova is one of my longest standing friends and it's fun to see what her creative mind comes up with.  
3.  Amanda at Little Montague Boys.  Amanda is cool and quirky.
4.  Angie of the Nowling Family.  I really want to get to know her better.

Motherhood

This morning, while working on some of my Relief Society duties, I ran across a wonderful talk.  It struck me that many of us women, and the men in our lives, could use this reminder.  I tried to boil this talk down.  But, it is worth reading in it's entirety. 

M. Russell Ballard says, "I surely know that there is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood."
"There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children.  The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part- or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work.  What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else."

1. What can you do, as a young mother, to reduce the pressure and enjoy your family more?

• Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments.  There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.  (He quotes a woman saying:)   I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less”
• Don't overschedule yourselves or your children.  We live in a world that is filled with options. If we are not careful, we will find every minute jammed with social events, classes, exercise time, book clubs, scrapbooking, Church callings, music, sports, the Internet, and our favorite TV shows. Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.
• Even as you try to cut out the extra commitments, sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children.
• Pray, study, and teach the gospel. Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother.  Parents can offer a unique and wonderful kind of prayer because they are praying to the Eternal Parent of us all.  There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, “We are stewardparents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as Thou wouldst want them raised.”

2.  What more can a husband do to support his wife, the mother of their children?

• Show extra appreciation and give more validation for what your wife does every day. Notice things and say thank you—often. 
• Schedule some evenings together, just the two of you. 
• Have a regular time to talk with your wife about each child’s needs and what you can do to help.
• Give your wife a “day away” now and then. Just take over the household and give your wife a break from her daily responsibilities. Taking over for a while will greatly enhance your appreciation of what your wife does. You may do a lot of lifting, twisting, and bending!
• Come home from work and take an active role with your family.  Don’t put work, friends, or sports ahead of listening to, playing with, and teaching your children.
  

 3.  What can children, even young children, do? 

• You can pick up your toys when you are finished playing with them, and when you get a little older, you can make your bed, help with the dishes, and do other chores—without being asked.
• You can say thank you more often when you finish a nice meal, when a story is read to you at bedtime, or when clean clothes are put in your drawers.
• Most of all, you can put your arms around your mother often and tell her you love her.
  

4.  What can the Church do?

• ... be especially watchful and considerate of the time and resource demands on young mothers and their families. 

To access this talk...
http://lds.org/churchmagazines/EN_2008_05_00___02205_000_000.pdf  Click on "Sunday Afternoon Session."  The talk is "Daughters of God" by M. Russell Ballard